Bert Kreischer defends Medieval Times in three words

Tom Segura read out the Vanity Fair report on harassment and horse-treatment allegations at Medieval Times. Bert Kreischer, who has celebrated his birthday there three times, had a three word response. "Knights will be knights."

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knights will be knights

That is the whole defense. No follow up, no caveat, no attempt to separate the man from the jousting. A guy who has spent three birthdays eating chicken with his hands in a castle is not going to be talked out of it by a magazine.

The pivot

From there the two of them went where you go after a hard news segment, which is straight into a business idea. They pitched a throwback restaurant where you do not just eat in another decade, you live in it. They landed on the '80s.

No details on what the '80s restaurant actually serves, because the pitch did not get that far. The appeal is obvious enough. Medieval Times already proved people will pay to sit inside a theme, and the '80s have the advantage of being a decade some of the customers can remember.

The real story

Bert is not making an argument about the report. He is doing the thing people do when a place they love turns out to have a news story attached, which is to hear the news, absorb none of it, and keep the reservation. Segura reads, Bert shrugs, and the show moves to the next idea. That is the format working as designed.

The clip is up from YMH Studios, who posted the rundown of the segment. If you want the Vanity Fair details, Segura reads them out loud, which saves you the click.

It is also a reminder that Bert has a long standing relationship with Medieval Times that three separate birthdays can attest to. Whether a fourth is booked, the source does not say.