Christina P lays out the divorce diet on Your Mom's House 878

Christina P spent an episode of Your Mom's House cataloguing what her life looks like after the divorce, and the list is a lot. Episode 878, titled "Is Christina Still The Garbage Queen? w/ H. Foley & Kevin Ryan," has her hosting the Are You Garbage guys and reporting that she is back on cigarettes after 20 years off them.

The setting matters. She says she has been living in her swimming pool ripping darts, drinking white wine, with a sparkling rosé upgrade on the weekends. The food half of the diet is just as tidy. She says 50 milligrams of Prozac is breakfast, plus some coffee, and she is not hungry until noon, which until recently was when she would order one thin crust Domino's supreme pizza.

The locked drawer

The detail that lands is the storage system. Christina says she keeps a drawer she locks everything in so the kids cannot see what she is up to, and that it holds at least five packs of darts plus unopened American Spirits as backup for when the others do not cut it. She also says she got a water cooler in her bedroom so she does not have to leave it, comparing herself to Winston Churchill.

The episode's actual question is whether she still qualifies as trash by Are You Garbage standards. H. Foley brings up Jordan Jensen as a contender, saying Jordan is really trash. Christina agrees Jensen is trashy but says she is a little different. Christina's own evidence for the defense is how she bags groceries, eggs on the bottom, because she says the container creates a great base.

The other columns

Not everything on the ledger is grim. She says she sold one piece of art for $100,000 and also did portraits of Tom naked wrestling bears. On the dating front she says she DM'd Zack Efron and has not heard back yet.

Kevin Ryan counters the pool talk with his own, a $228 above-ground pool from Walmart that ruins the grass and annoys the neighbors. He asks if we live in a better country than that and answers his own question with a no.

Both guests plug their YouTube special American Garbage, shot in Tampa and out now on their channel. Christina plugs her own dates, Wise Guys Comedy Club in Salt Lake City on October 9th and 10th.

YMH Studios posted the episode with three emoji and a caption that sums the whole thing up, "The Divorce Diet."