Lauren Compton ends First Date, denies the kids theory

The final episode of First Date is up, and Lauren Compton used it to shoot down the theory fans had already settled on. She solo hosts the finale, says the YMH Studios show is ending because viewership fell against a very high production cost, and makes a point of saying it has nothing to do with her two kids.

"I just want to make it clear that it's not because I have kids and I'm too busy," she says, before explaining that people had been assuming she was stopping to spend more time with them. On the money side she is blunt about the math, saying the production cost on a high-end show is really, really high and hard to support when the viewership isn't there. The show's ending was announced earlier, with Dr. Drew Pinsky taking the farewell guest seat.

The roast reel

The rest of the episode is fan questions and video messages from past guests, and most of them chose abuse over sentiment. Brad Williams, still sore about never getting a second date, landed the sharpest read of the format. Joe DeRosa went with "like so many women in my life, you've quit on me." Mark Normand told her it was about time and suggested she take care of that goddamn child of hers.

Not all of it was a bit. Duncan Trussell said the show was one of the best things that ever happened to him and that it launched his career, and that hearing it was ending broke his heart. Ari Shaffir said she showed the world he was not a complete something the transcript bleeps. Greg Fitzsimmons thanked her on behalf of all middle-aged men for flirting and making them feel sexy for a few minutes. Harland filmed his from a Panera Bread. Jim Norton, Sam Morril, Ian Edwards and Dr. Drew also sent videos.

The real story

Compton did not need to address the kids thing at all, which is how you know she had been reading the comments. The simpler version is the one she gave, a glossy show costs a lot to make and the numbers stopped justifying it, which is a thing that happens to podcasts that look expensive.

She also handed out a few parting details on the way out. Ron White is her favourite episode of all time, though she notes he did not respond to her last text. And her summary of six years of guests is that she met hundreds of people and loved every one of them except one. She does not say which one.