Mark Normand tore his scrotum on an LSU fence

Mark Normand went on Sam Morril's podcast We Might Be Drunk and explained how he tore his scrotum open in college.

The setup is a party in a guy's apartment at LSU. Normand ends up making out with a girl on the couch. Then a frat guy turns up with three friends. Normand's description of him is the whole scene in one line, polo, boat shoes, and the words "That's my girlfriend, man."

Normand says he already had an exit mapped out. The second they started walking toward him, he hopped the fence. It was chain link with spikes on the top.

The landing

He fell, rolled off the other side and ended up hanging upside down by his jeans, drunk and laughing. Then the pants ripped and he hit the ground. He ran home and passed out. He woke up in a pool of blood.

And then he went to work. Normand was a waiter, his alarm went off, and he was badly hungover. He told his boss he had to get to the hospital. The boss was not interested, said Normand had pulled that one before, and pointed out they were short staffed with a lunch rush coming.

So Normand took him into the bathroom and showed him.

The punchline is a doctor

The boss changed his mind instantly. At the hospital, Normand says the doctor told him he got there in time, and that otherwise he would have lost a ball.

It is a good reminder of what We Might Be Drunk actually is. Two very funny stand ups drinking and working through the stories they would never build into an hour, which is why the show keeps turning up things like this. Morril has used the same format to walk through the real texts behind his Netflix special Incorrect.

Normand's version of the near miss is less a cautionary tale than a bit about commitment. He planned the fence jump before anyone swung. He just did not plan the spikes.